2008 Woodie Awards
Dear Alicia
Alicia Staffa
Issue date: 4/9/08 Section: Campus Voices
My roommate is a sex fiend and it makes me very uncomfortable. We share a room and she lacks common courtesy; she is either having sex or talking about sex. How do I confront her about this?
From Sexiled
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear sexiled,
As you might know already, I am usually forward and blunt with my advice, so I am going to be the same here, right off the bat.
We are in college, and sex is apart of college.
I am not trying to make you feel bad, nor am I trying to put down your question. What I am trying to do is to hopefully make you look at this in a different perspective.
You might not be very used to this kind of behavior and being uncomfortable in your own room is definitely not something that anyone should go through. So I want to start tackling this problem by giving you some ways to handle this before you might have to confront her.
First, one of the best things that I think college does for anyone is open eyes to new things.
Maybe you aren't comfortable with sex yet, and that is okay, but now is the time to open up. The way I see it, you should take this as an opportunity. If she is talking about sex, instead of getting weird and uncomfortable, listen. You might not have much to say or anything to say at all, but the second you start to feel awkward and out of place, you are the one putting yourself in that position. Try to sit back, relax and listen to some things that you might not want to hear or have never heard before.
Second, you can start a conversation with her about sex in general. Tell her how you feel about sex and how you are very different than she is. This might start a conversation that you have never had before (which is what college is all about).
It might also help her realize that not everyone is like her, especially about a topic such as this one.
Opening up to this topic and trying to stay laid back might help you get through the situation without a confrontation. I have learned that sometimes, you can't change people, so why not make the best of it.
From Sexiled
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear sexiled,
As you might know already, I am usually forward and blunt with my advice, so I am going to be the same here, right off the bat.
We are in college, and sex is apart of college.
I am not trying to make you feel bad, nor am I trying to put down your question. What I am trying to do is to hopefully make you look at this in a different perspective.
You might not be very used to this kind of behavior and being uncomfortable in your own room is definitely not something that anyone should go through. So I want to start tackling this problem by giving you some ways to handle this before you might have to confront her.
First, one of the best things that I think college does for anyone is open eyes to new things.
Maybe you aren't comfortable with sex yet, and that is okay, but now is the time to open up. The way I see it, you should take this as an opportunity. If she is talking about sex, instead of getting weird and uncomfortable, listen. You might not have much to say or anything to say at all, but the second you start to feel awkward and out of place, you are the one putting yourself in that position. Try to sit back, relax and listen to some things that you might not want to hear or have never heard before.
Second, you can start a conversation with her about sex in general. Tell her how you feel about sex and how you are very different than she is. This might start a conversation that you have never had before (which is what college is all about).
It might also help her realize that not everyone is like her, especially about a topic such as this one.
Opening up to this topic and trying to stay laid back might help you get through the situation without a confrontation. I have learned that sometimes, you can't change people, so why not make the best of it.
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